Archive for February, 2012

“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along”- Rumi


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I want to scream till my eardrums pop!
Take a baseball bat and break whats left of these walls in my head.
Drive at 120 miles an hour, into skies that break and cry from the storms. 
I want lightening to strike down on me, give me a buzz.
This calm is suffocating! 
I need chaos,
Lets start a riot!
Let there be loud voices and strong opinions,
Anything to wake me from this dullness.
Its a depression.
Connections aren’t being made,
The synapses in my skull are disappearing one by one;
I’m shutting down.
Reboot me!
Stab me in the heart, so I can remember I have one!
Beat me till I feel pain.
Think I’ll jump off a bridge,
Always wanted to fly!
You must think I’m crazy!
Well, you’re absolutely right and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

– Shammy 2/29/12 11:38am 

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“You’re never alone. I’m there with you. Can’t you tell?” – Dilip

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After all these years, they’ve finally cleaned it up.
There’s only one person in the whole world that knows the significance of this place…
 Haven’t been here in over a year.
Everyday since I’ve met you, the need for it decreased.
I thought I was getting better.
I forgot the dreams I used to have every night, I forgot the darkness.
I thought it wasn’t a part of me anymore, but lately I feel
like it is more a part of me than ever I thought it could be.
The dreams that used to haunt me are back.
I’m scared to close my eyes and see the black.
I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. Is it just a matter of time?
I am my own worst enemy.
I know that.
But after all is said and done,
I won’t be back.
     – Shammy 2/26/12 3:48am


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Amar Bangladesh.. Jonmoor Bhasha.. Prio Bhasha
Bangla is not simply just a language;
It’s a feeling,
A state of being,
An essence.
There’s a beauty in it.
It’s a love that can’t be extracted from me,
Nor can it be explained.
It’s what makes me
It’s the bhalobasha I feel
Amar bhoker bethore.
The maya I see, when I look at you.
The dukhko, that comes from knowing the potential of my people
Because the few in power have been corrupted.
– Shammy 2/18/12 5:32am

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Am I still in that infatuation period?

Nothing you do seems to make me love you any less.

You muted me today while you spoke to Juju,

Honestly, I felt like it was my duty to be upset

But I just couldn’t do it.

There’s this little voice inside me.

It’s a silence that speaks out loud,

In a language I’ve never heard before.

A calmness.

And I know.
– Shammy 2/20/12

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I would rather be lonely alone, than with you.

It’s the worst feeling in the world,

Having someone who isn’t really there.

– Shammy 2/11/12 1:12am

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